I am sad to see many failed marriages. People are busy. They try to emulate others. They compare their spouse with their family members and friends and thereby kill the uniqueness of their relation. Here are few suggestions to fuel your marriage to happiness and make it long-lasting.
1. Uniqueness – As a couple, you must be aware that you are a special and unique. Your story is unique. Your circumstances and experiences are unique. Opportunities and threats for your relation will be unique too. Your relation is a journey. Live through every moment. Don’t try to emulate experiences of your siblings, parents and friends. They have their own journey, which is different from yours.
2. Time – No matter how busy you are, take some time out for each other. “I don’t have time” or “I am busy with office work” does not work.
3. Individuality – As a couple, you will often be considered as a single unit. However, remember that you two are different individuals and have different identity. There can be disagreement. There can be difference of opinion. It is these differences of opinions that gives strength to your relation and provide the uniqueness. Unfortunately, you didn’t marry your clone. Between two of you have space to accommodate these differences. Before you love accept each other as an individual.
4. Communication – Doesn’t matter what medium you decide to choose but communicate as often as possible. Silence is a language too but in this era, it is not as effective as it used to be. Communicate to kill rumours. Communicate to dissolve misunderstandings. Communicate to destroy gossips. If you will not communicate, others will, not for you but about you. Your spouse must be aware of everything about you that can affect the present and future of your relation.
5. Love & Respect – Love is strength of your relation. Love each other without reason. Don’t look for occasions to express your love. Express it anyways, all the time. Your love is a reason for your family (next generation); your family is not a reason for your love. It is sad to hear people saying that they are living together for the future of their kids and not because they are in love with each other.
6. Trust – Trust each other and stay loyal. Trust and loyalty are glues that keep the relation together. If you cannot trust one another then you cannot live together, doesn’t matter who much you love each other. Love without trust is false and unreal.
Valentine’s day is the festival of love and flowers are one of the oldest ways of expressing our love to our loved ones. Even in today’s hi-tech era when mobile phones, email messages and social networks have been becoming the primary method of communication, still people prefer to surprise their love by going before them with a bouquet of flowers. But what you may not know are the hidden meanings behind those flowers – yes, each bouquet and flower carries a different meaning with it. So read on and find out what his flowers really mean to you:
Roses: Unsurprisingly this classic flower is the most popular Valentine’s day choice among lovers. It may be because it symbolizes love and romance. Plus, it’s also a symbol of beauty. The following stats are enough for showing you a craze of rose on the “love fest”: 223 million roses were produced in 2013 especially for Valentine’s day. Due to this insanely high demand it also becomes the costliest flower at February 14th.
Gerbera Daisies: Daisies are the symbol of beauty, purity and innocence. The Gerbera variety of these flowers carries an additional meaning of “cheerfulness” due to its large flower heads.
Tulips: Tulips are a symbol of perfect love. These elegant blooms are one of the most popular flowers in the world but are often linked with Netherlands because they flourished there in the 17th century. These classic and affordable buds communicate comfort and warmth which makes them a fine pick for the day.
Peruvian lilies or Alstroemeria: These long-lasting petals convey the message of friendship and devotion. They’re native to South America but can be found in nearly all parts of the world at the time of Valentine’s day.
Casa Blanca Lilies: These different and oriental lilies typically symbolize beauty and style. The heady fragrance of these stunningly different blooms also makes it a great choice for your valentine. However, these lilies are expensive in comparison to some other cheaper flowers.
Orchids: These rare and unique buds are a symbol of beauty, love, strength and luxury. Plus, they also convey a message of exotic seduction. Orchids can also be held up well in bouquets and flower pots for a longer time in comparison to other sensitive flowers.
Carnations: These ruffled flowers symbolize the message of new love and fascination. Due to some reason they’re understood as a bad rep, but at some places people like them. These awesome and cheerful blossoms are affordable and hearty.
Sunflowers: Just like sun, they represent warmth, freshness and happiness. One more message that they convey is loyalty.
Irises: Irises stand for hope and faith but at some places they also indicate royalty. You can mix them up either with red tulips of daisies while preparing a striking combination for your bouquet.
Gardenias: Loaded with lots of fragrance, these beautiful and elegant flowers are a symbol of purity and joy. Since they’re pricey and are sold as separate blooms, they surely make a statement of differentiation on the day.
At some point, most married couples will go through a period where one or both are not happy with the marriage. The signs may be subtle or quite strong, but in any event recognizing that you are not happy is a good first step towards solving this problem.
Unfortunately, many divorces could be avoided if a person who is unhappy in the marriage chose a course of action that led to overcoming their unhappiness rather than just getting out of the marriage. It’s understandable that feelings of unhappiness can drive someone to want to make such a change, but the truth is that most marriages actually grow stronger if they can find a way to deal with their feelings rather than leave.
Five Things to do when You are Not Happy with your Marriage
Here are five steps you can take which will help you overcome your unhappiness and stay in the marriage. Each of these steps will take a bit of courage on your part, but the result is certainly well worth the effort.
Identify the Problem: What exactly is it that is making you feel unhappy? You cannot communicate to your spouse unless you have a very strong idea of what it is. Take some time for self examination to reveal just what is causing your feelings.
Communicate Your Feelings from Your Point of View: When you are unhappy in a marriage, your spouse should know about it. In fact, most spouses do know that something is wrong, but perhaps they didn’t want to verbalize it. By communicating how you feel, it puts both of you on the same page. However, what you say should be from your point of view and not accusatory or inflaming such as, “I get angry when you do X.” when it should be, “I feel sad when I see you do X.” That tone allows your partner to engage and respond, not be pushed away.
Discuss What Changes Can Be Made: While you cannot force your partner to change, you can focus on what could be done to help rectify the situation. I can start as small as “I’m going to hug you before I leave for work each day.” Such small gestures can really add up over time to bring more happiness to the marriage.
Cut Down on Distractions: It is during these stressful times that we tend to get distracted because we are tired of feeling this way. While such thoughts are understandable, they pull away from working on the problem itself.
Instead, you should be placing your relationship first and ditching the things that are pulling you away.
Get Professional Help: A marriage therapist or couple counselor can provide a path towards pulling the marriage back together. A professional brings an outside viewpoint and can show you ways of communicating better with your spouse. This can bring the both of you closer together so that your can be happy in the marriage again.